Whose duty is it to look after the husband's mother and to cook her food?

Answer

Firstly, it is the Waajib duty of the sons to look after their mother. They have to make the necessary arrangements for her food, clothes, living and comfort in general. If their wives sinfully refuse to assist him, then the sons will have to do the cooking for their mother either themselves or hire someone to prepare the food or make some arrangement. If the daughter is living with her mother, then obviously it is her duty to cook her mother's food. If the husband's mother is living with her daughter-in-law, then it will be her duty to cook for her if she (mother-in-law) is infirm, old or sickly. If the mother-in-law is able to do her own cooking, then while it will not be Waajib for the daughter-in-law to cook for her, nevertheless, it will be highly improper for her to refrain from cooking for her. How will it look to discard her husband's mother while they are living in the same house?

If the husband instructs his wife to cook for his mother, it will be Waajib for her to comply because obedience to the husband in all lawful things is Waajib.

It should also be understood that Islam places great emphasis on morality (akhlaaq). Even if it is not one's mother-in-law – it may be a sickly or old neighbour – then too it becomes Waajib to look after her. This is the demand of Islamic insaaniyat. Circumstances make Waajib certain issues which ordinarily are not one's incumbent duties. There may be an old sickly person living 10 houses from you. This person may have wealthy sons and daughters who are neglecting her and who have abandoned her. If her relatives are not fulfilling their duty of caring for her, then it becomes Waajib on you even though she is not related to you and living far from you. It becomes Waajib on all those who are able to take care of the destitute person.

It is not permissible for a woman to refuse to look after her mother-in-law on the basis that she has her own sons and daughters. If her sons and daughters refuse to fulfil their duty, then it is Waajib on the daughter-in-law to do what is expected of her own children.