I have been receiving resistance for not raising hands at the qabr.

Question

I have been receiving resistance for not raising hands at the qabr. I am a layman, i avoid confrontation and criticism. However, I would like to educate myself a bit more on the subject. I recently attended a Janaazah with a large attendance of Deobandi leaning laymen and Ulema, but congregational dua was recited. I have no answer for the laymen who question me pointing to the actions of the Deobandis "even they do it". In this age, I only know of the adherent followers of Hadhrat Maseehullah (RA) who avoid this practice. Most other Deobandis practice raising hands at the Qabr. Can you kindly provide me with literature on this subject?