What attitude should children have for their stepmother?

Answer

Your ex-wife is a shaitaanah. The children must respect their stepmother. They have to respect her just as they respect their own mother. They may meet and visit her although the baaligh males should not be alone with her. The ex-wife is acting satanically. The stepmother is their father‟s „best‟ friend, and regarding this, Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:

"Of the best of good deeds is that a man is kind to the Family of the friends of his father after his (the father's) death." In relation to the stepmother, the „family of the friends of his father, is extremely distant. But Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) described service to such distant friends of his father to be among the noblest deeds of virtue. Now, reflect and understand the value of the stepmother.

SHAITAAN

Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: "Shaitaan sits firmly on the heart of man. When he (man) engages in Thikrullaah, shaitaan flees. When he becomes forgetful (of thikr), shaitaan inspires him."

While all the Auliya are of extremely lofty moral character, there are some whose character is par excellence. Their morality sometimes overshadows their intelligence and due to simplicity they lack the vision to understand the pitfalls of certain of their acts which later develop into bid‟ah. Such Buzrugs are unable to effect the Islaah (moral reformation) of people.

It is therefore essential to understand that every act and statement of an accomplished Buzrug/Wali is not the Sunnah nor does a Buzrug‟s deed constitute daleel (proof) of the Shariah. Thus, it is improper to seek justification for bid‟ah practices by presenting the deeds and statements of Auliya. Any act of a Wali which is in conflict with the Shariah must incumbently be set aside.

Allaamah Abdul Wahhaab Sha‟raani (Rahmatullah alayh) as well as other Fuqaha have said: "He who cites the obscurities of the Ulama (as daleel) has made

an exit from Islam."

MUAQQIBAAT

"For him (man) there are guarding angels in front of him and behind him, protecting him by the command of Allah."

(Ar-Ra'd, Aayat 11)

Muaqqibaat are the Angels whom Allah Ta‟ala has appointed to guard and protect people from danger and harm of every kind, physical, moral and spiritual. They operate in two shifts. One shift operates during the day, and another shift during the night.

It is mentioned in the Hadith that these Angels guard people at all times. They are posted even to guard non-Muslims. However, when Allah Ta‟ala decrees some harm or calamity to befall a person, then these Angels stand aside without protecting the person.

This explains that all calamities which befall people are by the decrees of Allah Ta‟ala. If there is no such decree, then no harm can come to anyone. The Angels are there to protect people against the harms of jinn, animals, people, etc.

RIYA OF THE ULAMA

Imaam Shaafi‟ (Rahmatullah alayh) was asked to explain riya (show). He said: "Riya is a fitnah (calamity) which the tempest of the nafs has made a veil which it (the nafs) casts on the heart and eyes of the Ulama. Thus they destroy their virtuous deeds with it. The Aalim who does not keep his nafs under observation, his knowledge will not benefit him. He who uses his Ilm for the obedience of Allah, spiritual mysteries (Asraar) will unfold for him."

Imaam Ghazali (Rahmatullah alayh) commenting on this advice said that Imaam Shaafi‟s (Rahmatullah alayh) abhorrence for fame and fear for the calamities of Ilm were extremely profound.

FUTILITY

Hadhrat Uwais Qarni (Rahmatullah alayh) said:

"When two persons gather to indulge in futility, shaitaan departs because now he has achieved his objective of preventing from Thikrullah."

The effect of indulgence in futility is to become forgetful of Allah Ta‟ala.

Hadhrat Hasan Basri (Rahmatullah alayh) said: "Futile talk is evil. Silence devoid of fikr (reflection) is futility and disgraceful."

Hadhrat Maalik Bin Dinaar (Rahmatullah alayh) said:

"A friendship which will not benefit one in the Aakhirat is futile. A man who indulges in idle talk is bereft of knowledge. His heart is blind and his life is ruined."