I would like to know: there are men these days who would like to get married but they get upset when the girl wants to stay on her own.

Answer

It is the Shar‟i right of the wife to have her own separate living quarters. This should be arranged before marriage to avoid the marriage breaking down.

The girl and her parents are blameworthy when the fitnah pertaining to separate living quarters erupts. They are guilty because they failed to stipulate this requirement prior to marriage. Despite being aware, they rushed into the marriage and now when the novelty of the Nikah has worn thin, they create problems with the in-laws. It is necessary to make the correct arrangements before plunging into marriage. Both parties must be blamed for the zulm. Yes, the fitnah between a man and his daughter-in-law is a real and rampant evil. We are well aware of this, hence we always say that a certain degree of purdah is necessary and that the woman must not be in privacy with her fatherin-law. People are bereft of Taqwa, hence they are dominated by their nafs and Iblees.

Making a maid of the daughter-in-law is blatant zulm. This happens in many homes. It is therefore necessary, prior to marriage, to settle the issue of a separate home. If this right is not acceded to before marriage, then the girl‟s parents should blame themselves for the resultant zulm on their daughter.

It is a major sin for the husband to debar his wife from meeting her parents. He must take her frequently to visit if they live nearby. If they live in another city, then whenever it is reasonably easy, he should take her to visit them. He must not be callous. He must not acquit himself like an animal which has no feelings for its adult offspring.

The husband mentioning his intimate issues with his wife to his mother is shameless, and his mother too is shameless. Only rubbishes derive carnal pleasure from such information.

Especially in these times of fitnah and fasaad which is an age in which Taqwa is antique and so „out of fashion‟ that even molvis and muftis frown when they hear the word „Taqwa‟, it is absolutely necessary to make all the necessary arrangements prior to the Nikah. Nowadays nikahs break up so much and so quickly as if marriage is a sport.

By a UK Brother

I reside in UK.

The roots of feminism were sown decades ago, i.e. women can get educated & go to work. This was ushered in by "intellectuals" within communities reinterpreting settled verses of the Qur‟an & the Ahadith. Modern secular education was dubbed Ilm & "Remain in your homes" was subjected to new & nuanced interpretations with a little helping hand from the subjective definitions of "dharoorah" (necessity) by "Molvis."

Once those doors were opened then the Muslims were on the slippery slope to other fitnahs. Women dressing up like prostitutes and attending weddings, men becoming dayuths (cuckolds), women using secular courts in their favour to obtain custody of children, husbands being spoken to like trash. Even those men who think they are not being disrespected by their wives are only doing so with reference to modern standards, not by Shari‟ah.

Secular education gave every Tom, Dick, Harry & Sally the "tools" to analyse the Deen themselves. So women are equal to men & "Qawwamun" doesn‟t mean in charge. It means caretaker, like a school caretaker with 2 dogs. Scholars from the Khayrul Quroon who dedicated their lives in poverty to bring us Shari‟ah are disdainfully jettisoned as backward barbarians.

Lies are attributed to Allah & His Nabi Sallallahu Alayhi wasallam by lying itself, distortions, manipulation & omissions. The feminists favourite decontextualized example was that Hadhrat Khadija Radhiyallahu Anha was a successful business woman.

The men of today deserve the "hard time" they get from their masculinised women who thoroughly emasculate them without them even realising. I see family interactions & I see how this modern education & working women has reduced men to cuckolds. These women have no hayaa & that‟s not my opinion. Study the Ahadith. Nabi Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam refers to them in what would be dubbed as "derogatory" terms. No! They are fitting epithets.

When men become feminised & women become masculinised & bold, confidently speaking to Simon at work, who is leering at her figure, then we can argue that this also falls under the promise of shaytaan to change the creation of Allah. May Allah protect our Imaan.