Please explain the mas'alah of making gifts to one's children.

Answer

There is flexibility in the rule of making gifts to children. Whilst the general rule is to make equal gifts, the father may use his discretion. His intention should not be to deprive a child nor to act spitefully. Circumstances and need dictate the issue. For example: one child may need a pair of shoes immediately whilst the other children are not in need. The father may therefore buy shoes for only the child who needs it, and when the other children are in need, he will satisfy their need at the time.

It does not mean that if the father spends R100 on medicine for one sick child, he has to give R100 to every child. Such expenses pertain t o t he d o main of N af qah (Maintenance) which will be doled out as occasion and need demand.

But, as far as fixed property or expensive items are concerned, the father may not buy a house for only one child and deprive the others. In this matter, if the father's financial position does not allow him to buy a house for every child, then he has to retain the house in his ownership, and permit his son who will be getting married to live therein. This house will not belong to the son, but will be inherited by all the children. However, if a father makes a gift purely out of love to one child, e.g. he gives the one child R100 or a R1,000, then it is Waajib to give each child the same amount. The father returns from a journey and brings gifts for his children. He has to maintain strict equality in such gifts. The values must be the same. There is a difference between Nafqah (maintenance) and Hadyah (gift). Inequality in gifts is not permissible whereas it is permissible in maintenance. The element of equality relates to pure gifts, not to necessities.

Furthermore, if the father refuses to make a gift to a particular child because of his gross insolence and disobedience, or his flagrant sins, then he (the father) will be entitled to deprive that child from the gifts he makes to the other obedient children.