Question
We are having some trouble with my in laws with regards to the family gatherings, weddings, reunions etc. Unfortunately purdah is not observed between ghair mahaarim in these family gatherings. We have therefore decided not to attend any of these family gatherings including our children unless purdah is observed properly. We have informed our family accordingly. We have also tried to advise them with wisdom to observe purdah in line with the commands of Allah Ta'ala. We also do try to keep in contact with them by calling or messaging when possible as we live quite a distance away. This decision of ours has not been well accepted by them and there has been problems in the family since. They have accused us of breaking family ties and called our decision hypocritical as we go to the shopping centre's and public spaces which are mixed and we lower our gazes, why then can't we attend these gatherings and lower our gaze and our wives keep their purdah on. Please elaborate on the following. (1) Are we breaking family ties as they claim? (2) Are we being hypocritical by not attending the mixed family gatherings despite going out to shopping centers or public spaces. Is such a comparison correct?
Answer
NO, you are not breaking family ties. On the contrary, you are maintaining your ties with Allah Ta'ala by upholding His Commands. Your in-laws and others of the same ilk are in fact guilty of breaking family ties. Their attitude is implied KUFR. They are proffering shaitaani arguments to support their aversion for The Purdah law of Allah Ta'ala.
Participating in family gatherings, even if sins are not committed, is not a requisite for the maintenance of family ties. Family ties is to assist family members in time of need; to be polite to them; to tolerate their unkindness, and to make dua for them.
It is haraam to attend such family gatherings where Purdah is violated or where any other sins are being committed. Never please the family on the basis of displeasing Allah Ta'ala.
The analogy with shopping centres, etc. is stupid and baseless. Attending a haraam shopping centre does not justify or make halaal a haraam family gathering. If there is no real, pressing need to go to a shopping centre, then it will not be permissible. Nowadays, the supermarkets deliver at your door within an hour. Nevertheless, a haraam does not become halaal simply because one commits another haraam. Their claim is baseless and devoid of Shar'i substance.
- Source
- themajlis.co.za
- Published in
- The Majlis Vol 28 No 02
- PDF page
- 2
Appears under FAMILY TIES? (approximate).